Man..these last couple of days i’ve been doin a lot of thinking.
And..i don’t know…i never considered myself a “believer” or even very much drawn to religion, but….faith….faith has been poppin into my head a lot lately.
And the thing about faith is, it’s universal. At least for me it is.
You can have faith; faith in god, faith in people, faith in love, faith in religion.
You see where i’m goin with this? You don’t have to be religious to have faith.
Sure, you might find that through your faith in something, BUT it’s not needed.
And to me faith is a wonderful thing. I think I lost it somewhere down the road.
And to be honest…I gave up on everything. I didnt give a shit anymore!
Everything was bad, everything sucked, everything was evil. I was..powerless…that might be the word i’m lookin for.
And the worst part about having given up was, I,ultimately, gave up on myself.
I gave up on everything I believed in, everything I stood for, everything I was and tried to be.
I just didnt care. I thought to myself “fuck it…you ain’t gon’ change shit! Who do you think you are that you could change ANYthing !? It doesnt matter what you do or don’t do…life goes on no matter what i choose to do”
Well…I was wrong.
It’s the choices we make, that change everything!
And…I’m not saying this is the same for everybody, but this is what it’s in my case:
I NEED to be me, I NEED to do what I do, I NEED to try change the world.
See, i don’t mean it as in “imma save the whole world”. No, I mean; My world. My friends. My family. My immediate surroundings.
I NEED to try to be the best possible “me” I can be.
Cause no matter what happens in “the” world or in “my” world, at least it happened as i was giving my all to be the best person I can possibly be.
You know, I’m not tryin to preach here. I’m just sayin what I need to do to be in peace with myself, to feel good about myself and,in the end, to be happy with myself and be happy in general.
Am i gonna change the world? Possibly not…
Can i try to? Hell yeah!
The thing I always…AL-WAYS loved the most was, makin people happy.
Even more than that, making people laugh.
Knowing that despite of all the bull shit that’s goin on in my life, in that little second I make that other person laugh, just for a little bit, I’m helpin him to forget all that bull shit he might be goin through.
And by doing that I’m not only helpin him, no, I’m also helpin myself, cause in that moment I know that I am the reason he’s laughin, I am the reason he might not be thinkin about some bull shit right now.
And what better pay-off could there be,than makin somebody else happy ?
I know this might sound very self-centered and that it might not even be true or that it’s not important if you make people laugh or feel good, but to me it is.
If I can make you laugh, that makes me feel great. It doesn’t get any better than that.
There’s nothin more beautiful than hearing laughter, cause you know when somebody is laughin he isn’t in pain, he isn’t worried, he isn’t alone.
Laughter,to me, is the purest form of happiness.
And if i can be the reason for that and even if it’s only in my head…..there’s NOTHING more I could ask for, cause i’ve done everything i set out to do.
So have faith in yourself, have faith in your friends and have faith in your family.
And most importantly, have faith that good things can happen and that you can make em happen!
Always try to be the best you can be, cause…you might end up changing “a” world after all
I have faith that…if i can make 1 person happy…he might go on and make another person happy or better yet, treat another person better and so on…
Nobody can build a wall just like that, but you can take it one brick at a time and try to lay that brick as perfectly as it can be laid….and soon you will have your wall.
Take some time to think about some of this…not everything, cause I know I ramble a lot and tend to talk waaaayy too much…but think about the true essence of this. Being a better person and tryin to do good.
Much love and good night :)
“Only god can judge me. So either love me or leave me alone”